The Raw Truth

I smile with family and friends, appreciate their support, embrace their love and their genuine acts of kindness. But I promise you I’m not me I am so so gone it’s like I’m living in an alternate world. Just going through the motions. I have many  friends and some visitors and find myself laughing out loud sometimes but it’s not me. I want my son back! And yes I know full well he was not my son, he’s God’s son and I get that …. But why put him in my care for so long and have such a strong relationship and take him away? I can’t make it without God, pill, or whatever numbs me. This is my truth. And I don’t want anyone to worry or try to fix it,  I just want you to listen should you choose to.

Alexandra  is gone and it will take a very very long time to bring her back if that’s her destiny. But I wake up everyday and I ask myself do I want to be here but I am. 

Love and light